


Stupid.

by SunshineRomance



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Christmas, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Food, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mentioned Monsta X Ensemble, Snow, Soonhoon - Freeform, Wonhui - Freeform, jun is just sad mostly, the rest of seventeen is there if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 19:47:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16939551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunshineRomance/pseuds/SunshineRomance
Summary: There was everything wrong with Junhui.Being in love with someone you can never reach feels so suffocating and sometimes it just breaks you. Junhui knew this better than anyone else. Wonwoo was his closest and best friend, and that was only more reason for him to not be allowed to like him. But life has a funny way for making itself as miserable as possible.





	Stupid.

There was everything wrong with Junhui.

Being in love with someone you can never reach feels so suffocating and sometimes it just breaks you. Junhui knew this better than anyone else. Wonwoo was his closest and best friend, and that was only more reason for him to not be allowed to like him. But life has a funny way for making itself as miserable as possible. The moments Junhui spent with Wonwoo, laughing and smiling, only brought him more pain at night when he was alone, hugging a pillow that, when he closed his eyes and imagined hard enough, seemed like the sleeping body of the boy he could never have.

“Are you two a couple?” Junhui laughed until he was painfully silenced by the response of the so-called couple.

“Yeah,” Soonyoung's and Jihoon’s voice rang out at the same time as they looked at each other for a brief moment. They smiled, and Soonyoung finished bringing the spoon to Jihoon’s mouth, feeding him. It was the action that caused Junhui to make the joke, and now he was seriously regretting it.

“What?!?!?!?!” Wonwoo leaned forward, seemingly aghast yet still trying to be supportive. He ended up with a strange twisted smile. Junhui felt the same twist in his stomach.

“Yeah we are, is that so hard to believe?” Soonyoung asked the pair of dumbfounded boys as Junhui tried to wrap his head around the situation. But Jihoon seemed straight, so, so impossibly  _ straight _ , and now he was dating Soonyoung. Junhui could only offer a weak smile as Wonwoo seemed a little less phased by the news.

“Well I mean, I support it and stuff, I just really thought Jihoon was straight is all.” Wonwoo sat down and opened his book, but no one believed he was actually reading. Junhui could always tell.

“I did as well,” Junhui finally found something to say, even if it was just echoing what Wonwoo said. He could never disagree with Wonwoo, and even when he did, he kept it to himself. They always seemed to agree, and if they could, maybe Junhui’s fantasies weren’t just a figment of his mind?

No, no, he’d never let himself think that. Because as soon as he did, he knew that he would get clingy and annoying and Wonwoo would stop hanging out with him. Junhui took in a deep breath and joined Wonwoo on the couch.

“I wanna drink something. I’ll be right back.” Jihoon got up to leave and Soonyoung mirrored his actions.

“I’ll go with you. You two want anything?” Soonyoung asked them both, his usual cheery self. Both of them shook their heads silently. As soon as the two boys had left the room, Wonwoo put down the book had hadn’t even  _ tried _ to seem like he was reading. He hadn’t turned a single page. Junhui noticed every one of Wonwoo’s movements, but he’d never admit it.

“Dude.” Wonwoo stared at Junhui, and Junhui knew exactly what the look meant. There was no words to describe it. It was just,  _ Dude. _ Junhui was sure he was making the same face. “I can’t, for how long, what is, my life is a  _ lie _ .” Junhui just nodded and said a typical  _ I know right? _

Junhui studied Wonwoo’s pensive face as he continued to ask questions that Junhui didn’t have the answer to.  _ Do the other’s know?  _ His eyebrows furrowed a little. It was cute.  _ Am I blind? Was it obvious? I thought Soonyoung was just cheery with everyone,  _ Junhui nodded enthusiastically to show his wholehearted agreement without words. Wonwoo put his face in his hands and shook it.  _ I just can’t.  _ Junhui couldn’t either. He couldn’t stop liking Wonwoo. Couldn’t stop admiring all his little mannerisms.

Junhui stood up. “I need some fresh air.” Wonwoo made as if he was going to follow Junhui out, but Junhui almost too quickly ran out of the room and closed the door. He really just needed to process this on his own. 

What he wanted was a bed to sleep in, a pillow to cry on. Why did Wonwoo affect him this much? What did he do in his past life to deserve this kind of torture? Every time Wonwoo smiled at him, his heart melted and broke all at the same time. Because that was a friendly smile, a smile that would never be given to him with love. Every time Wonwoo grabbed Junhui’s arm because he wanted to talk to him, or just to bother him, Junhui both never wanted him to let go and also wanted to push him away and cry. Because he could never have it, never completely, and this limbo just made him feel sick to his stomach.

Junhui sat down on an unoccupied bench in a park nearby, as the snow began to flutter down. It would be Christmas soon. He wanted to cry, he really felt like it, but the tears just wouldn’t come. What does one do in a situation like this?

Junhui wished he had put on something a little warmer before storming out of the dorm. He thought that maybe if he walked around a little, he would warm up a little.

He saw a couple laughing quietly on their walk through the park. Junhui politely waved as he passed them, and they nodded as well. Junhui got unreasonably mad at them.  _ You’re so lucky that you fell in love with the right gender. _ Junhui tried to let his sudden, irrational anger go as he walked out of the park. He passed a hot chocolate and coffee stand and considered getting one for Wonwoo. Why did he always think of Wonwoo? Why could he never say no to Wonwoo either? He sighed, and kept right on walking.

He passed his favorite chocolate shop as he continued to wander aimlessly. It was quite busy, after all, it was about to be Christmas.  _ I still haven’t bought Wonwoo a present. _ Junhui had come out here to think about what to do with his situation, not think about falling deeper in love with Wonwoo. He stepped inside anyways, he was starting to get really cold, the icy breeze biting his cheeks and coloring them a bright red. Junhui always made fun of how easily Wonwoo blushed. But why what he thinking of that now?

“Oh! Junhui?” Junhui turned to the sound of a familiar voice. It was his friend from high school. He had gone back to Korea to study, and Junhui had met up a few time with him since he was around. He had forgotten that he had gotten a part time job here. He should really talk to his other friends more often. 

He came out from behind the counter that was swarmed with clients. He didn’t seem to worry about making them wait even longer for his colleague to help all of them. “Long time no see,” He held out his hand and Jun completed their secret handshake they had created in 6th grade. “What are you here for? A  _ girlfriend _ maybe?” He raised his eyebrows. Junhui went back into survival mode, which was also known as  _ “I am not depressed and completely straight”  _ mode.

“I wish! I was just passing by and thought I’d come in. It’s freezing out.” Junhui smiled radiantly, as if nothing was wrong. And for a moment, nothing was. He was with his old friend in his favorite chocolate shop, surrounded by the heat of frantic Christmas shoppers with the scent of chocolates and sweets high in the air. He smile went from forced to genuine as he laughed a little. He felt a little lighter.

“Hey, hey,” he spoke a little lower. “I’ll give you a bit of a discount if you mention me on your Weibo.” Junhui couldn’t help but laugh at his friend’s request.

“Sure thing, Minhyuk.” He reached into his pocket, but he only found two 10,000 won bills he had managed to swipe off the counter when he rushed out. He wasn’t even sure who’s they were. “Ah, I left my phone at home.”

Minhyuk looked at Junhui suspiciously, but Junhui knew he was just joking. “You,  _ Wen Junhui, _ without his phone? Were you escaping a fire or something?”

“Something like that,” Junhui melancholically looked to the ceiling of the busy room and sighed. “I needed some space from the dorm.”

“Oh!” Minhyuk had a face of complete comprehension. “No need to explain. Here, you can borrow mine.” Junhui graciously accepted Minhyuk’s phone and walked around the crowded isles until he found something he could actually pay for that was up to his standards. He snapped a picture of it and went ahead and sent it to his own profile. Then he pulled his friend away from an obnoxious couple that was clearly bothering Minhyuk, and took several selfies with him so that he could post it on his Weibo. Junhui gave him back his phone and Minhyuk checked the images Junhui had just sent to himself. 

“You always look better than me when you take the picture,” He said it in a whining tone, Junhui laughing at him. “Do you do this on purpose?” 

 

Minhyuk rang him up. Junhui had just enough for 1 instant ramen packet now. Minhyuk asked if he wanted him to wrap it and Junhui didn’t really know what to say. He agreed to it, even if it might end up being a present to himself, he would still enjoy tearing the wrapping paper off.

Junhui said goodbye to Minhyuk and walked out of the comfortably cozy store to the frigid streets. He thought he had had enough of “fresh air” and he just wanted to go home at this point.

He hadn’t come to any conclusions about what to do, but he never did when he went for fresh air anyways, so he just decided to go home. 

 

He came in, ears, nose and cheeks bright red. He stomped the snow off his boots and hung up his coat in the hallway closet.

“Oh, you’re back. I thought it was really cold out so I made you some hot chocolate.” Wonwoo looked down at the gift bag Junhui was holding. “What did you buy? Is it for me~?” He had said it in a mocking tone, but Junhui knew as soon as he picked them out that they were for Wonwoo. He gave up lying to himself.

“Yeah, actually. Here.” He held it out to Wonwoo, who accepted it with stars in his eyes. 

“O-oh really? I was just messing around. Hey, thanks.” He peered inside, but his eyes were only met with gift wrap. He shuffled back into the kitchen, leaving the gift on the table. In the background, Junhui could hear Soonyoung and Jihoon playing some sort of video game. He sighed and took a seat at the table where Wonwoo had left his gift. He saw his phone on the counter, but didn’t bother to get up, and he just slumped forwards, hiding the bottom half of his face in his crossed arms resting on the table. All Wonwoo could see was his eyes and hair.

Wonwoo came over and set Junhui’s hot chocolate on the table. It was in a red mug, steam rising from the hot drink that would warm Jun’s heart in more ways than one. It had whipped cream and little marshmallows in it. Wonwoo never put this much effort into something so simple which wasn’t even for himself.  _ Stop being so nice to me. You’re only digging my grave deeper. _ Junhui accepted it with a  _ thank you _ , and Wonwoo just nodded and sat across from him. He didn’t even look at his gift. He just watched calmly as Junhui looked into his cup. Junhui felt so incredibly melancholic that if he didn’t restrain himself, tears would surely start to flow from his eyes and stick to his eyelashes.

“Don’t just stare at it. I want to know if it’s good. I added peppermint too. I hope that’s okay.”  _ Everything’s okay. Everything you do is okay. Don’t you see just how much I like you? Just how much I suffer because of it? _

Junhui took a sip and felt genuine happiness blossom in his now warm and full chest. He felt his cheeks glow, no longer from cold, but from the warmth of the hot chocolate.

“It’s really good. I like it a lot.”  _ I like  _ you _ a lot. _ Wonwoo smiled and finally pulled the wrapped box of chocolates from the gift bag he had set on the table earlier. He tore into the gift paper, his slender fingers causing the paper ripping sound to fill the (almost) silent room. (Soonyoung and Jihoon could still be heard playing video games in the distance. It seemed like Jihoon was winning)

“Oh I love this store! Doesn’t your friend Minhyuk work there?” Junhui looked up in surprise. Had he told him? He couldn’t even remember. “Oh I recognized him from one of your posts. I asked if it was him. Sorry for being nosy.” Junhui smiled and shook his head.

“It’s fine. I just wasn’t expecting it.”

“Hey, chocolates for real? Are we also a couple?” Wonwoo laughed one of his genuine laughs, the kind where you could see all of his teeth. It warmed his heart. Junhui put on his best confused expression.

“You mean we aren’t?” His laughter was cut short for the second time today.

“What, you want to go on a date? Well… sure, why not?”  _ What. _ What was the only word that came out of his mouth, but he quickly tried to swallow it back as soon as he said it. He knew he needed this chance, even if it was only a fantasy.

“I mean, I don’t mind. Where do you want to go?”

“For real?” Junhui cringed a bit. Had he been too forward? “No I mean, I was just joking, but you want to? Okay. Sure, we can go on a date.” Junhui tried (and failed) to prevent a blush from spreading over his face. But Wonwoo was also covering his face with his sweater paws. Maybe, maybe Junhui’s love wasn’t so unrequited?

No, he couldn’t allow himself to think that yet. It was just a joke, right? Right. He shouldn’t take jokes so seriously.

“Thanks for the hot chocolate.”

“Thanks for the regular chocolate.” Junhui smiled a bit and got up.

“I’m exhausted. I’m going to go ahead and sleep.”

“Good night.” Junhui just nodded and left the kitchen to head off to his bedroom and dream of Wonwoo.

 

The next morning Wonwoo was up early helping Mingyu make breakfast. Junhui was always one of the last members to get up in the morning, so by the time he was in the kitchen eat his re-reheated food, there was just Wonwoo (who was doing the dishes), Jihoon (who also got up late and didn’t like to leave the dorm often) and Soonyoung (who was keeping Jihoon company). Wonwoo began speaking to Junhui a little too loudly for a normal conversation.

“So, Jun, are you ready for our,” He paused for dramatic effect, making sure that Soonyoung and Jihoon could hear him, “ _ Date? _ ” 

Soonyoung and Jihoon both looked up, first to Wonwoo (who had already turned his back to them while snickering, pretending to wash the dishes as usual,) then to Junhui, then back to Wonwoo.

“Are you two…” Soonyoung began, too afraid to say the word as if it was a curse.

“Come on Soonyoung, you really think they would? It’s probably just a joke.” Soonyoung still looked a little conflicted, which caused Jihoon to reevaluate his judgement. “Although now that I think about it, It wouldn’t be so weird if they  _ were _ together.”

Junhui couldn’t help the blush that was creeping over his face. Did they really seem like a couple already? “Well, we’re not real-”

“That’s right!” Wonwoo cut Junhui off. Clearly he was doing this to mess with Jihoon and Soonyoung. Of course. He didn’t have any other reason to go out with Junhui, right? “We’re dating now. You  _ inspired us, _ ” Junhui giggled a little.

Jihoon narrowed his eyes. “Come on now, you’re not really dating, I know it.”

This time Junhui decided to help him out and chime in. “No, we really are, trust me.” Evidently, Jihoon didn’t trust Junhui.

“Okay, then prove it. Go on a double date with me and Soonyoung.” Soonyoung blushed a little and looked away.

“Okay, fine!” Wonwoo had an aura of confidence, a confidence that Junhui knew would wear off as soon as they other couple left.

 

He was right.

“You’re okay with this right? Sorry, I didn’t really ask if it was alright with you. Um, we can always just not go, who cares what they think anyways?” Wonwoo was sitting across from Junhui in the same way as he had yesterday night. “The idea was just to go on a date right?”  _ A date, _ Junhui noted.  _ One, singular date. _

“It’s fine, I really don’t mind it.” Junhui downed the rest of his milk. “I think it’s funny either way.” he offered Wonwoo a smile, but he knew it was a weak one. Junhui stood up and began to mentally go through all the clothes in his closet. Wonwoo didn’t stop him from leaving.

He got to his room and laid down, taking in deep breaths. This was what he wanted wasn’t it? Why did he feel so… empty? Was it because he knew that Wonwoo didn’t think of it in the same way that he did? To Wonwoo, this was probably just a date between friends, not people who wanted to go out together. He had spent so much time suppressing his feelings that it just left him tired and suffocated. Not being in contact with Wonwoo always felt him terribly lonely and melancholic, with a hint of nostalgia, even when he was with other people. Did the others really not suspect a thing? Was he really that good at hiding his own emotions, even when he thought he was being devoured by them? He rolled over and got up, staring at the clock until the numbers finally entered his mind and made coherent sense. It was 11:36 am. If they were going out to eat lunch then he needed to start getting ready. Especially since that mental search of his closet hadn’t turned anything up.

Junhui showered, put on some cologne that he didn’t even know he still had, brushed his teeth and got out of the bathroom with a soft white towel around his hips. He didn’t really care if the members saw him like this. By this point, all the members knew each other so well, inside and out, in more ways than one. Sometimes they would even wear each other’s underwear by mistake. Junhui felt a twinge of annoyance remembering the time when Seungcheol had taken his last pair of underwear. He sighed and smiled. He was really fortunate to have such close teammates. Not just teammates, friends.

Junhui opened his Pandora's box of a closet, clothes thrown around haphazardly. He had promised himself he would clean before the end of November, but here he was, halfway through December with the same- actually worse now- mess as before. He dug out piles and piles of clothes in his hands, clutching layers of fabric in his fists, throwing shirts, shorts, jeans and hats all over his bed and bedroom floor. He picked up a jacket he was sure was Soonyoung’s, not his, and found one of his favorite shirts underneath. He had thought one of the other’s had taken it and never given it back. He even asked some of them if they had seen it, but he hadn’t had any luck. Well, it was no longer any wonder they hadn’t seen it.

He picked it up and smelled it. Smelled like laundry. Junhui’s closet might be a mess, but he never put dirty clothes back in the closet. He had  _ standards _ , okay?

He finally had something to work with. He grabbed a jacket from his floor and some jeans he found actually hung up, not thrown into a pile, and he looked at himself in the mirror. Junhui might be a little self conscious, but he knew when he looked good. Now was one of those times. He grabbed armfuls of clothes and shoved them back where he had found them. He would clean up later.

Maybe.

He decided to not put on too much makeup. He might be an idol, but there was really no need for makeup when he was going out with friends. But it  _ was  _ a date, not just a typical outing with friends. Maybe he should then? Junhui was just standing in the middle of the hallway as he contemplated the vital question of should or should not. He could hear Soonyoung getting ready, and decided to go and see what he was doing.

Soonyoung was sitting in a pile of clothes, not unlike the one Junhui had pulled out of his closet just a few minutes ago.

“Junhui! You hang out with Minghao and Mingyu often right? Help me…” He flopped back onto some t-shirts and groaned. “This is always so difficult… If I wear something stupid to some event, Mingyu or a stylist will tell me, but when I go out by myself I’m always worried that I look less like a fashionista and more like a fashion terrorist.” Junhui laughed brightly.

“Why don’t you wear this?” Junhui held up a thick turtleneck shirt.

“I don’t have anything that matches that.”

“It’s literally a black shirt. Anything matches with it.”

“Ugh, okay fine you’re right… Thanks, Junhui.” Junhui nodded and got up to let Soonyoung change. “Hey have you seen one of my black jackets? I can’t find it anywhere.”

Junhui realized that the jacket he had taken out (that now lay at the very back of his closet) really was Soonyoung’s. He tried to will the pained expression away. If he was in a comic, he’d be covered in sweat.

“I-I haven’t. Good luck!” Junhui got out of there as fast as he could. Maybe he would just put on some BB cream.

But if he was going to put that on, he might as well put on some lip tint as well? It couldn’t hurt, right?

 

Junhui ended up looking exactly how he did during fan meetings.

“Are you guys coming or not?” It was Jihoon’s usual annoyed tone, telling them all to hurry up. Junhui was the first one to join Jihoon at the door. He was a little surprised at how much effort he had put into his appearance. He had also put on makeup, and it even seemed like he had asked Mingyu for help with his outfit. It made Junhui smile. It seemed that they really did like each other.

“I can’t believe you two are taking the joke this far.”  _ Me neither. _

“Hey, hey, it’s not a joke, stop harassing my date.” Junhui turned around to look at Wonwoo, beautiful Wonwoo. Aside from his clothes and makeup (which really weren’t all that different from what he usually did,) the thing that stood out he most to Junhui has Wonwoo’s genuine smile. It lit up Junhui’s heart like flash paper. Junhui couldn’t hold back a smile of his own.

“You look good.” Wonwoo blushed and mumbled back a  _ thanks  _ and a  _ you too. _

 

The four of them left their warm home, only to be greeted by the harsh snap of December wind, bringing red into their cheeks and the ends of their ears. They hurried over to their favorite ramen place. 

They had originally heard about it from Soonyoung, who had a friend who worked there. (What was it with their friends and working with food?) Jooheon, (Soonyoung’s friend) always greeted them with a cheerful smile and played around with them. He was so easy to get along with that even though the ramen wasn’t even that amazing, they still came to enjoy his company. (And also because sometimes he gave them a discount and they didn’t really know any other places that were good near them, but let’s just pretend it’s friendship.)

They settled into their own booth and let their jackets pool around their legs on their chairs as they slowly warmed to the heat from the kitchen and the stillness inside the restaurant. Soft music played in the background. Junhui had been here before, but he had never been here before like  _ this _ , sitting in front of Wonwoo with his blushy cheeks and his sweet smile. Junhui looked down and wiped away a tear that had not yet fully formed from the corner of his eye.  _ Wonwoo looks as cute as ever. _

Jooheon came over and entertained them for a bit while they decided what to eat.

“Thanks for coming here. It was such a slow day at work today. Have fun on your date!” He ruffled Soonyoung’s hair like an elder brother would and walked back to the kitchen to take their orders. No one had said a word about being on a date, but it seemed to be plenty obvious enough for Jooheon to say it to their faces.

Maybe, maybe if today went well enough, Junhui could ask Wonwoo to go on another date? He liked this too much for it to just be a one time thing. Junhui felt like laughing a little at his own misery. He was finally on a date with the person he liked, but he was still hiding his feelings from them. He smiled and propped his head on his hand to stare at Wonwoo. 

“I should have asked for more spice.” Wonwoo looked back at him calmly.

“Didn’t you ask for an extra spicy bowl anyways? I think that’s pretty spicy already.”

“I can always eat something spicier.” Wonwoo did a half laugh, half sigh. Junhui just let himself openly stare at Wonwoo’s pretty face. Getting lost in the vast milky expanse of his skin, the curve of his eyes, the soft, rosy tint of his lips, the dark, endless pools of his eyes.

“Junhui?” Wonwoo broke Junhui out of his own trance. “Your ramen’s here.”

Junhui practically flew off the table, straightening his back and quietly saying a sheepish sorry to Jooheon who had been trying to put his bowl down on the table.

“Don’t they say  _ fries before guys _ ?” He burst into a small fit of laughter and was about to leave when he added one last thing. “You should eat before Wonwoo eats you, if you know what I mean.” Junhui felt a blush creep over his face and his eyes get wide. Jooheon laughed a little more before he left for good. Junhui heard Soonyoung snort next to him.

“Did you hear that?” A huge smile was plastered on his face as he shook Jihoon's sleeve right as he was about to pick up his noodles with his chopsticks, causing them to fall back into his soup with a splish.

“Yes I did- careful! Soonyoung, stop shaking me.” Jihoon had said it in his annoyed tone, but he couldn’t hide the small smile that formed on his lips and the love that clouded his eyes. Junhui sighed a little. He wished Wonwoo would look at him like that. He wished he could look at Wonwoo like that without Wonwoo calling him out for it.

Their booth was filled with slurps and laughter, a few comments and jokes interspersed in the conversation. The mood was overall very warm and Christmas-y and even if Junhui felt like he was suffering a little, he wouldn’t trade this moment for anything in the world. He felt the stress of practice melt away with every one of Wonwoo’s grins, his tense shoulders finally let go as he asked for some more spice to add to his broth as everyone at the table (including Jooheon who got it for him) looked at him weirdly. Junhui hadn’t had such a happy, simple moment with his friends in a while. He felt his heart swell.

 

They paid and left an extra generous tip for Jooheon, as they did every time they came. They all pulled their jackets back on, hoping to make the restaurant’s warmth and savory scent last them a little longer, zipping their jackets all the way up as if to protect the warmth and smell from being blown away in the harsh wind. Snow began to fall again, slowly at first, as if it was afraid people would notice it if it all came at once.

“My hands are cold.” Wonwoo looked at Junhui, as if it was some sort of secret code that Junhui was supposed to understand. And Junhui did, or maybe he misunderstood, but he didn’t regret what he did anyway, and Wonwoo didn’t seem to either. Junhui grabbed hold of Wonwoo’s hand and put it in his pocket together with his own. It was just an excuse to hold Wonwoo’s hand, since it wouldn’t warm his other hand at all, but Wonwoo didn’t say anything about that.

_ Wonwoo’s hand  _ is _ cold, _ Junhui thought, the pale hand icy against his skin. Junhui watched as Soonyoung pressed a hot pack to Jihoon’s lips. When Jihoon gave him a look that simply said  _ why,  _ Soonyoung shrugged.

“You looked cold.” That seemed to be enough explanation for Jihoon.

 

Once they had returned home, Jihoon suddenly spoke up. 

“I guess I have to apologize for doubting you guys,” He awkwardly put his hand behind his neck, “We support you two, right Soonyoung?” Soonyoung was taking off his jacket, mitten in his mouth. He hummed something that Junhui knew meant his agreement. He couldn’t help but blush a little. Did this mean they were a couple? They had just gone on a date, but neither of them had confessed anything and maybe Wonwoo just wanted to go out with  _ someone _ , not Junhui specifically. 

Jihoon and his cheery sidekick left to play video games again. They seemed to really enjoy each other’s company. It was one of the most heartwarming things Junhui had ever seen between members.

“Um, Junhui,” Wonwoo was standing in the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of water. “I bought a book a few days ago because it reminded me of you.” He turned off the tap and walked over to Junhui. “I wanted to show it to you.” He walked down the hall in his soft, socked feet, motioning with his head for Junhui to follow him to his room. Junhui did.

Wonwoo was Junhui’s best friend, so of course he had been in Wonwoo’s bedroom before, many, many times. He had woken him up when he had overslept for a schedule, he had come in when he was bored, only to have Wonwoo promptly kick him out. He had come in when he was feeling lonely or when he really missed Wonwoo, so much that when Wonwoo tried to kick him out as he always did, so that he could read in peace, Junhui promised to be quiet and begged Wonwoo to let him stay. He would sit on the floor even when there was plenty of space on the bed, hoping to not disturb him. He pretended to read one of Wonwoo’s books as he silently watched Wonwoo turn the pages, face serene as he took in the words off the pages.

When he walked in this time however, it felt different. He was being  _ invited _ in, Wonwoo  _ wanted _ him to be in here, him,  _ Wen Junhui _ , in Wonwoo’s room. Wonwoo left his glass of water on the table and started opening and closing drawers full to the brim with books. They were all neatly piled up and ordered alphabetically (Wonwoo had gotten mad at Junhui for putting a T between  the F and G), so he really wasn’t sure why it was taking him so long to find the book. 

“Um, I can’t find it, I’m sure it’ll turn up later.” Wonwoo closed his drawers and sat on the bed, pulling a blanket off the end of it. “Wasn’t it cold out? Come sit.” 

Now this was certainly strange, but Junhui wasn’t going to refuse getting to sit on Wonwoo’s bed with a blanket wrapped around him, so he just shuffled over and took the empty spot next to him.

“Did you have fun today?” Wonwoo leaned over and rested his head on Junhui’s shoulder. “I did.” 

Junhui offered a weak hum of agreement, afraid to move. This wasn’t right, Wonwoo hated, no,  _ despised _ whenever Junhui touched him or leaned on him. He would pull his arm away, make a face, or just stand up and leave Junhui hanging. But here he was. Leaning onto Junhui, the man who hated being touched. Junhui was terrified of moving a single centimeter, afraid that any movement at all would get him to lift his head. Would he dare…?

Junhui slowly raised his other hand and then placed it on Wonwoo’s head and ever so gently gave him a little pat. Wonwoo didn’t move. He didn’t shy away like he usually did, didn’t lift his face and say “What the heck man,” he  _ didn’t _ , so Junhui let his arm drop and lifted the one closest to Wonwoo, wrapping it around him and holding him in a side hug. Wonwoo buried his face deeper into Junhui’s shirt. Junhui’s favorite shirt, that was now his favorite for an entirely different reason.

“You smell like laundry.” Junhui didn’t move or say anything. He was afraid he might somehow break the spell. “It’s a good smell.”

Junhui slowly began rubbing Wonwoo’s shoulder, with just his fingers at first, and then with his whole hand, rubbing soothing patterns up and down Wonwoo’s arm.

“Do you want to go on another date?”

“Yes.” Junhui could never say no to Wonwoo. Ever. “But I think I should tell you something first.”

“What is it?” Wonwoo didn’t even lift his head. In fact, Junhui could tell he was getting a little sleepy. Had he shut his eyes?

“I like you.” Junhui wanted to die, he wanted to take a gun and just,  _ pew! _ shoot himself right in the face. Why did he say that? After all this time, after planning to just keep it hidden forever, how could he just betray himself like that? But at the same time, he felt… strangely light. Like all his problems just, vanished.

“I like you too.” He did? He  _ did? _ It wasn’t a lie, it wasn’t a fantasy, wasn’t part of the dream that Junhui dreamed every night, he really  _ really _ did? Junhui accidentally said his thoughts aloud.

“I really do.” Junhui then took his other arm and wrapped it around Wonwoo. Maybe, maybe Wonwoo had been going through the same pain Junhui had been in? Maybe they were really just hurting at the same time, both afraid of their own feelings, both certain that the other did not like them? Junhui hoped not.

Because that would be stupid.

He let a stupid tear roll down his cheeks as a stupid smile lit up his face.

 

“I’m glad. I’m really, really glad.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this mess of a fic  
> I just kinda wrote this to cheer myself up  
> Hope it cheered you up as well ^^


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